Order

Krishnamurti always talked about needing order in your life. First. You have to have order in your life. I've mused on that for years. Krishnamurti never gave answers, instead he said to look deep, understand for yourself. The last few months I've been putting my house in order. The last few weeks I've been putting my correspondence in order. Correspondence to me isn't just writing letters or emails but checking in with people I haven't seen for a while. And answering emails and following through with something like soup or a coffee.

It's also time to schedule my life from January to April or June if I can. Classes and workshops. I have to gauge my energy for six months. And when I want to have a weekend off or a little visit to see my girls. 

Today is officially my day off. Days off aren't really days off. Does anyone have days off? My days off though are creative days. I cook and eat what and when I want. I plan. I make a lot of lists. And most fun of all I scratch off things I completed. I make tea. I sit in my home clothes. I look out the window. I sit quiet with no rush. I will, I will get to this pile on my coffee table.

The soup days of fall

This may come as a surprise to you - I bought another cookbook. 

3 Times a Day (originally called Trois Fois Par Jour) by Marilou and Alexandre Champagne, a québécois couple. 

The autumn is all about eating soup. And I love really good soup recipes. 

This one is excellent!

Chicken, corn and chorizo chowder. Yummy. I took a photo of the recipe so that I won't rewrite the original because it's perfect. If it's too small for whatever you're using to read it with let me know. 

Bon Appetit. 

Step up

We all have a responsibility to step up and hit the ball. If we sit back and wait for the world to change for us it is never going to happen.     

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

Here I am!

I have missed writing my blog. While in Australia, once I stopped I couldn't get going again. There just seemed too much to do, too many plans, too much to organize, etc, even though there was in actuality more time. It seems my head can only hold so much at a time. And I think I like it that way.

I am back at home, teaching yoga and meditation again, happily. My mom is in her own apartment about a five minute walk away. It has been a really long journey. Her health is pretty good. She is now 83 years old. She walks twice a day at a good clip. She drinks her veggies in a smoothie. And bakes and knits. And is happy. Now this is truly a magical thing!

I've been learning that I only have to do my best. I've heard people say that but just hearing something doesn't make it understandable. I'm getting an understating now. Finally. I could have dropped so much angst earlier if only I could have really known that my best was perfection. I just always thought that my best wasn't good enough because I could see that I could have been or done something more. But that was always in hindsight. Given our circumstances in the moment we do our best. Nothing more. Nothing less. It's always enough because that's the way it is. Okay. Now I also know when I'm not doing my best. I didn't get this part before. I'm not doing my best when I am binge watching the third episode of some show on Netflix and I have the thought "I need to get up now" or "Is this really what I want?" It's when, in the moment, I know it's enough and I keep doing it. Oh, beats me, now that I talk about doing my best I'm getting confused. I think my best right now is to stop talking about it. I don't have to say it any better than this because that's all I've got.  In the moment.

Here I am.

Heart hugs

I brought a Wagamese book with me. I just finished reading it. Another wonderful book.

The last while back home my friends have been into heart hugs. Heart hugs are when you hug so your left side touches the other persons left side. It feels awkward to me. I always forget how to hug and it feels unnatural. In the book Keeper'n Me, which tells about the Indyun way of life, it has a different take on heart hugs: 

"That's the thing with hugs.......Make you feel real good all the time. But there's a reason. When we hug someone an' really mean it, we get given a gift by the Creator who sent the person our way. That's the gift of another heartbeat. We feel it on the empty side of our chests when we really squeeze that person close. The old people say when we're really happy that extra heartbeat we feel when we're huggin's helpin' us celebrate. An' when we're full of hurt or sore that extra heartbeat's givin' us the strength we need to get through whatever it is. That's the old way of seein' it. Makes sense to me."

Isn't that just the greatest way of seein' it? The old way!

A green tea latte enjoyed at Caffe Cherry Beans. Watched a gull fight there too. It was awesome but I was so interested in it didn't think to take a photo. Fries were a flyin' around the tables!

Blink

I saw a commercial on television tonight for some special drops for eyes. The man said that when we are at a computer screen for hours our eyes get dry. Because we are not blinking. I notice that my eyes get dry when I am watching a good movie too. I'm too focused to blink much. Apparently these drops line the eye with a moist layer and you don't have dry eyes for up to 4 hours. My question is: wouldn't it be less hassle to just go blinkitty, blink, blink? It works for me. The dryness tells you when to blink more and you can just do it. 

Commercials are much more civilized in Australia than in North America. So far I haven't seen people marching down the street in Depends (adult diapers) or talking about Sam in their pants. Here they march down the street following a woman home with a leg of lamb.

One step

It's just after 8 pm and I'm sitting on the balcony. Mom has gone to bed. It's blissfully quiet except for the traffic which I have gotten used to. It's warm, 23 C.

In the last few days I have felt like I don't know how to do anything. I've been grumbly, exasperated, and upset. I've done my best to accept this of myself and my best to change. Sometimes I think I just have to ride it out. I've been thinking about all the exercises and advice I give other people. Do they work? Is it working?

I went out for a while by myself today and that was wonderful! I came back rejuvenated and had a swim.  No one else is in the pool anymore. They say it's too cold. Lucky me.

But still I ask, what's really going on here? I sat and sat. And sat. I thought about the spiritual path. Is this a part of it? Yes, of course. I like the good bits better. I should know what I'm doing by now! That's the worst of it. I think I should know how to instantly change my mood, snap out of it, put on a good face. Haven't been able to do it.

This path.......isn't it just putting one foot in front of the other? What if I only had to do that? I can take one step. And if I could take the next step with the highest good possible would that be enough? Wow! Eureka! That is all I or anyone can do. The path is under the feet right now. And even though I talk about feet it's an internal path. The path and the step to take is in the ordinary-looking stuff. The next step is just the next step. I only ever need to take one step. How much love can I put into this one step? How can I serve in this next step? The day of course has unfolded wonderfully. For me anyway. At least I can live with myself.

I remember, my teacher, MKI, saying that there are two things required to be free. One is to get on a path that points you back to yourself. And the second thing is to stay on it. That was so helpful because I have found the Bright Path. Not staying on it doesn't even cross my mind anymore. Stubbornness is good in this instance.