Being free

In a few days I'm leaving home for a month long visit to see my teacher and to meditate for much of that time. I've been asked if I'm excited. Excited? And I really don't know. There is so much to organize when going anywhere. I really like being at home. I think I will be more excited to come home. It just seems the right time to go.

I know what I want more than anything - to be free of the little me, the voice (actually many voices) in my head which continuously tell me how things are, how they are supposed to be, what I should be doing, what I should have done, etc. Bossy, bossy, bossy. I have come a long way though. I can now chuckle and even laugh out loud at the stupidity that flows through my mind.  I remember Anthony de Mello, in his book, Awareness, saying that he is crazy, I am crazy, we are all crazy, and the sooner we realize that the happier we will be. I like to think that we are all absolutely sane, naturally, innately, but we pay attention and believe the voice in our head. So, I am going away to continue to learn to not take the voice or any thoughts seriously. I've been there before yet I want more and more to rest in peace. Wuhuu!