Thursday, 30 April 2015

Storm brewing

Both inside and outside we have a storm brewing. :)

Those red things are birds trying to get away from the storm.
The guy below is wanting to come in and dry it's feathers. 
(Friend's house)

Monday, 27 April 2015

Don't get lost

I read something in a novel today:
"No one ever got lost bein' part of somethin'. Only when they're not."
(From Keeper 'n Me, by Richard Wagamese)

All life around us is a part of us. When you are connected to that, there is no separation. No loneliness. No feeling of not belonging. The only way I know how to feel this belonging is to be quiet. To pay attention. To be silent. To feel the peace and silence of this moment. Silence, or peace, or love, or God, is all around and within. To feel that is living life. And being life. It is easy to get lost in the busyness of the little bitty stuff. It is easy to stay lost forever. Just sit for a while and listen. Stay whole.

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Nothing special.

I let the day be as it was. In the morning I walked the beach. The surf was high and lots of surfers were lined up past the waves, waiting for the big one. Many found their big one. It is beautiful to watch someone dance with such grace with the waves.

I saw a cartoon once of a stereotypic eastern guru, you know, long beard, long hair, and naked except for a loin cloth, and well, he was surfing. Apparently we're supposed to just ride the waves of life going where they take us. No resisting. Enjoying life as it comes. Hmmmm, we have this idea about surfing that the folks are laid back and living a freedom filled life, I don't know. The surfers I saw today looked pretty intense. They have lots of gear nowadays. No mere loincloth. They are running like crazy for the waves and seem to have a pecking order as they wait for the big one. But I don't know anything about surfing.

I went with mom and her friends to a casino. Not my usual hangout. It was a long ride and I thought to myself that this is going to be a long day. Indoors and in the dark. But luckily, I changed my attitude quickly. Okay, so how wonderful can this day be? I surrendered myself to whatever came. The day ended up being nothing special. And it was also nothing unspecial or boring. It was a wonderful day. There is a great beauty in not wanting things to be different than they are. There is a great power in letting the day unfold and above all - having no judgments about it. It felt like there was no past or future, the day being merely part of the eternal moment.

Saturday, 25 April 2015

Lest we forget

April 25 is Anzac Day in Australia. It is 100 years after thousands of Australian soldiers lost their lives in Gallipoli and the Australians still pay an amazing tribute to fallen soldiers. At dawn today people gathered at war memorial shrines everywhere. There were afternoon marches and parades with veterans from all wars participating, from age 24 to 100. Descendants marched with their forefathers medals proudly on their lapels. Businesses were closed all morning. It's the amount of people that turned out that really impressed me. 120,000 people in Canberra! That's one third of the city's population. That's at dawn! More than 30,000 in Sydney. 50,000, 90,000 in other cities. Wow! This country's youth participated. 

Watching all this remembrance brought a lump into my throat many times today. I remembered my dad's stories about WW II when I was little. We went fishing and I played with my dolls in the boat while my dad fished. He told all kinds of stories about the war. I listened as I played somehow knowing that he was healing from deep wounds.

Friday, 24 April 2015

Day off

We've had a day off from appointments. I walked on the beach in my bathing suit and am hopefully starting to like a native.

Mom is looking good!

It's magical when you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then you just start taking one step and another step, knowing fully that there may be twists and turns when you don't see the light, yet now you know it's there. That is how I feel today.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015


Waiting can be difficult. Waiting can be easy. I was waiting today in a closed office (no windows). I explored sitting and doing nothing. When I thought of how lucky I was just to sit and no need to do anything, I felt wonderful. I was appreciating the moment of peace and quiet. But if I thought of it as a waste of time then I was annoyed and felt like a victim. How dare I have to sit here. I have more important things to do. I noticed it is always my own perspective that my peace or pain come from. I had no need to flip through magazines or muse on the other people in the waiting room. I have no cell phone with me. Waiting became easy and sweet. Acceptance of the moment is always the key to peace. It is what it is. 

One thing I like to do is soften my eyes as if I am looking out the sides of my head. My breath softens and it's easier to be present. It takes remembering and practice. It takes slowing down. It's too bad we honour busyness, rushing, and more is better.

We sat in the park across the roadway yesterday. Just sat and watched the birds putzing. Mama peacock with her children. And the dad watching nearby.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015



1 cup peanut butter
1 cup white sugar
1 egg

Combine all 3 ingredients in a mixing bowl. Drop tablespoon sized balls onto a cookie sheet. Use a fork and flatten. Bake 350 F for 10 to 15 minutes.

Monday, 20 April 2015

A practice for posture +

Today my mom and I have had a stressful day. Spending any amount of time in waiting rooms, and talking to doctors, and getting more blood tests on totally bruised arms is stressful for everyone. There are some other health issues now. Hmmm. What to do except breathe and keep going.

There is a soft fresh rain. I walked out near the beach before supper and did some yoga later. Ahhhh, sweet relief on a crazy day! I feel like I got aired out. 

Try this wonderful practice:

Standing in mountain pose, feet parallel and right under your hip joints. Breathe out as you gently stretch your tailbone down towards the floor using your buttock muscles. When you inhale let the breath come into the lower ribs first and telescope up into the whole rib age. This is gentle and uplifting. Try not to lift the shoulders up, rather let them expand out to the sides. If you feel you can't do this standing and breathing like this - then just pretend. Pretend. Practice. And then the moment you know it's working. Wow! This practice is good for posture and helps reduce strain of lower back. On another level it is an antidote for fear. I practiced walking this way today. After some practice shoulders land into the sweet spot where they just drop and there is such a wonderful free rib cage. There are infinite places to practice this: walking, standing in a queue, washing dishes, brushing your teeth. Innovate.

Sunday, 19 April 2015

Australian country style

My mom's neighbour, Annette, gave me a humongous pile of Australian magazines to read. I'm in magazine heaven! My favourites are the Country Style ones.

This bit helps put this country style into perspective:
"As is well known, the first Australian settlers were mainly convicts, reluctantly torn from the place they regarded as home and brought against their will, painfully aware of being regarded as undesirable by the rest of their society. Although there were hardened criminals among them, many had been convicted for desperate acts of survival for themselves and their families - small thefts of food or valuables."

"The burning desire to survive became one of the most distinguishing of Australian characteristics. It led to the inventiveness for which this young country has long been renowned. Another great advantage of being stripped of  social 'place' because of exclusion is that the class system that dominated most of the rest of the world never got a very strong grip here. People needed each other's support to survive against huge odds. This sense of mateship that developed early on still sustains us."

"The first vestiges of style emerged in the buildings that were made from available materials. In Sydney, simple cottages, along the familiar lines of the old country, were built from the beautiful golden sandstone on which the city stands. ......further into the country they used slender limbs of gums as struts and supports. Everything that nature provided had a use, mud for plaster between stones or thin strips of wood, and timber sliced for shingles."

"The sun had never been a problem in the settlers' countries of origin. In Australia it was necessary to protect against it and so the verandah was born - a shelter that very simply expanded the living area and allowed the outdoors to be enjoyed without discomfort."

"Within a generation or so the first settlers had become Australians, a new breed of people who were toughened, sunburnt, hard-working, good humoured and fairly forgiving. They were people who never wasted a thing. Empty cans and crates became kitchen cupboards, bedside tables and clothing chests. Chairs, beds and tables legs were made from hardwood twigs, carefully chosen for appropriate size and, where possible, shape."

" being open, inviting, eager to adapt to new ideas and improve their own situation, Australian home-makers have welcomed what is best from and most beautiful from countries all over the world.
Because of a welcoming and open-minded view, this is a country where influences from Japan, Ball, and India co-exist with influences from Spanish South America, and with those from stylish New York, Florence and London as well as from Provence and Tuscany. Yet everything brought here soon acquires the special sense of Australia-ness, the spirit the early settlers bequeathed us. Australian country style arises from its own nature."

The people here have a wonderful relationship with this dry, hot, and beautiful land.

Friday, 17 April 2015


Today we took the brand new tram to get blood work done.
I drank a flat white from McCafe (my first coffee since arriving) and was it ever tasty. It gave me energy to go grocery shopping which was really fun.

I have a love affair with graffiti and wall art.

Mom is looking good!

Isn't this the cutest small sink? In a big country with lots of room :)

Tram station.

Here's me bringing the groceries home. Almost home! 28C but a lovely breeze off the ocean. We were home by noon. Nap time. Yahoo!

Thursday, 16 April 2015

I feel landed now.

Awwww, the beach! Finally headed out for a walk on the sand. Oh my! The gorgeous smell, so fresh and clean, and moist and fragrant. It was the most lovely walk and I don't know how anyone would want to leave this paradise. I don't think everyone knows that I am in Australia. Paradise Waters. Taking care of my mom and bringing her home to Canada. This morning I thought it would be great if her whole family moved to Australia instead. It's warm and beautiful. All the time. I plan to enjoy it while I am here.
Mom out for an early morning walk around the block.

My feet in the ocean.

This is Paradise. When I got home I went in the hot tub and then a swim in the pool. I feel like a new woman. Very warm today. 29 C. It's the fall season. 

We've worked too......signing forms to sell condo, organizing some repairs, cooking healing food. 

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Mom's home

My mom is home from hospital!
She is doing well. We went for a long walk today. Ate soup. Watching a Walt Disney movie on television.
I just got my wifi set up. I couldn't email for days and was having withdrawals. My fingers were itchy!
I bought a Modem and Prepaid Sim pack. Works well!

So, hello my friends!

Saturday, 11 April 2015

On my way

I am shortly leaving for the airport to journey to Australia. I had a dream last night of sitting in between 2 sumo wrestlers on the plane. For all 16 plus hours. Well, I can just lean over and rest my head anywhere.

Don and I started our morning with oatmeal and ended with cake.

Life is an adventure. We've all heard that. I really feel that tonight. But in day to day life when there is the same general routine every day, every week, it's not easy to notice that life is an adventure. I often ask the question, "how can it get better than this?" Try it. It's amazing. 

Today we were walking and I saw Paramananda and Shanti on the street corner.  They live in Kitsilano and rarely come to downtown Vancouver. I know about 5 people here besides the kids and there they are walking towards me. It was surreal. They are two Ishaya teachers. And yesterday I literally bumped into a third person I know from Thundef Bay. Wlow! Stay alert. Stay amazed.

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

My friend

I sit in bed looking out at the early morning, the sun waking up the ocean and mountains. People are bustling to work. Birds are flying overhead with tufts of nesting supplies. There is aliveness everywhere. Everything is beautiful. 

Yet, my heart feels wobbly. I feel as if there is hand on my heart pulling tears out of me. My dearest friend, Aksara, passed away yesterday. I cry because I will never talk and laugh with her again. I cry for the sadness of a great many people who will miss her, her husband, her daughter and newly born grandson, and her big Ishaya family.

I met her on a ferry on Georgian Bay in August 2006. I loved how she looked. Unique of course. Confident. Joyful. We shared our business cards. She called me "darling".  We became each other's fans. We visited each other. We spent time on the phone. We linked arms and giggled at retreats. We loved each other as sisters and we both knew it.

Aksara means the "keeper of Om". Om is everywhere and in everything. She was a nester. She loved making a home. She could make a home anywhere  She taught me about realness like the velveteen rabbit was taught by the other toys. She was a mighty real human being. I always knew where I was with her. She told me when I annoyed her. She told me when I did good. I shared with her more acutely about life and and love than anyone.

Once, we sat together in my sauna. We sat quietly for a while. She asked me if I liked my belly. I said no. I asked her if she liked hers. She said no. Everything was okay. And we sat in the silence together.
Aksara, my friend, I will meet you in the silence.

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Morning in Vancouver


View of early morning - Coal Harbour - Vancouver

Stanley Park - tree growing on stump
Stand like a tree. The bottoms of the feet growing roots deep, deep into the earth. Feel the pulse and rhythm of the rich ground beneath. Stand rooted. Steady. Stable. Feel like you belong. And be comfortable.

Friday, 3 April 2015

Last night at home

I had the last supper with the boys, Don, my brother Harri, Buk, and Felix. 
Very little is packed. A suitcase with room to spare. I have some luxuries packed - big earphones, essential oils, yoga mat. As I wait for my hair to dry after the sauna, I notice the strangest feeling. I don't know what it is and I don't mind. My heart feels open. It is a special moment sitting with Felix, who looks a bit worried since he knows we're leaving. It seems that the whole world is standing still in anticipation. I guess it is always this way but I rarely notice. Tomorrow Vancouver.