Saturday, 9 May 2015

Heart hugs

I brought a Wagamese book with me. I just finished reading it. Another wonderful book.
The last while back home my friends have been into heart hugs. Heart hugs are when you hug so your left side touches the other persons left side. It feels awkward to me. I always forget how to hug and it feels unnatural. In the book Keeper'n Me, which tells about the Indyun way of life, it has a different take on heart hugs: 
"That's the thing with hugs.......Make you feel real good all the time. But there's a reason. When we hug someone an' really mean it, we get given a gift by the Creator who sent the person our way. That's the gift of another heartbeat. We feel it on the empty side of our chests when we really squeeze that person close. The old people say when we're really happy that extra heartbeat we feel when we're huggin's helpin' us celebrate. An' when we're full of hurt or sore that extra heartbeat's givin' us the strength we need to get through whatever it is. That's the old way of seein' it. Makes sense to me."

Isn't that just the greatest way of seein' it? The old way!

A green tea latte enjoyed at Caffe Cherry Beans. Watched a gull fight there too. It was awesome but I was so interested in it didn't think to take a photo. Fries were a flyin' around the tables!

Tuesday, 5 May 2015


I saw a commercial on television tonight for some special drops for eyes. The man said that when we are at a computer screen for hours our eyes get dry. Because we are not blinking. I notice that my eyes get dry when I am watching a good movie too. I'm too focused to blink much. Apparently these drops line the eye with a moist layer and you don't have dry eyes for up to 4 hours. My question is: wouldn't it be less hassle to just go blinkitty, blink, blink? It works for me. The dryness tells you when to blink more and you can just do it. 

Commercials are much more civilized in Australia than in North America. So far I haven't seen people marching down the street in Depends (adult diapers) or talking about Sam in their pants. Here they march down the street following a woman home with a leg of lamb.

Monday, 4 May 2015

One step

It's just after 8 pm and I'm sitting on the balcony. Mom has gone to bed. It's blissfully quiet except for the traffic which I have gotten used to. It's warm, 23 C.

In the last few days I have felt like I don't know how to do anything. I've been grumbly, exasperated, and upset. I've done my best to accept this of myself and my best to change. Sometimes I think I just have to ride it out. I've been thinking about all the exercises and advice I give other people. Do they work? Is it working?

I went out for a while by myself today and that was wonderful! I came back rejuvenated and had a swim.  No one else is in the pool anymore. They say it's too cold. Lucky me.

But still I ask, what's really going on here? I sat and sat. And sat. I thought about the spiritual path. Is this a part of it? Yes, of course. I like the good bits better. I should know what I'm doing by now! That's the worst of it. I think I should know how to instantly change my mood, snap out of it, put on a good face. Haven't been able to do it.

This path.......isn't it just putting one foot in front of the other? What if I only had to do that? I can take one step. And if I could take the next step with the highest good possible would that be enough? Wow! Eureka! That is all I or anyone can do. The path is under the feet right now. And even though I talk about feet it's an internal path. The path and the step to take is in the ordinary-looking stuff. The next step is just the next step. I only ever need to take one step. How much love can I put into this one step? How can I serve in this next step? The day of course has unfolded wonderfully. For me anyway. At least I can live with myself.

I remember, my teacher, MKI, saying that there are two things required to be free. One is to get on a path that points you back to yourself. And the second thing is to stay on it. That was so helpful because I have found the Bright Path. Not staying on it doesn't even cross my mind anymore. Stubbornness is good in this instance.

Friday, 1 May 2015

Rainy day

It's evening and the storm still rages. This morning we did get out for a short walk to the beach. There was hardly any beach left. The waves were coming in and taking the sand out to sea. I've heard of sheets of rain and that is what it looks like when I look out the window. 100 kilometre high winds.

It was a good day to sort through my mom's stuff. Boxes piled for thrift store, friends, recycling and garbage. It isn't a hard job. I phoned for shipping overseas quotes. This work feels rewarding. We can see it happening. What's hard is that my mom is not having a great day. She feels like she won't ever be well. I don't know how to help. It is amazing how her mood can affect me. Part of me feels I can be in my own mood regardless of hers. But that is not how it's happening. I wish my mood could pick hers up. She seems annoyed when i am perky and happy. I end up being neutral, quiet, a bit closed, and in a protective mode.

I know everything is already okay. Underneath all my apparent angst I know it's all working out perfectly. I surrender. :)