One step

It's just after 8 pm and I'm sitting on the balcony. Mom has gone to bed. It's blissfully quiet except for the traffic which I have gotten used to. It's warm, 23 C.

In the last few days I have felt like I don't know how to do anything. I've been grumbly, exasperated, and upset. I've done my best to accept this of myself and my best to change. Sometimes I think I just have to ride it out. I've been thinking about all the exercises and advice I give other people. Do they work? Is it working?

I went out for a while by myself today and that was wonderful! I came back rejuvenated and had a swim.  No one else is in the pool anymore. They say it's too cold. Lucky me.

But still I ask, what's really going on here? I sat and sat. And sat. I thought about the spiritual path. Is this a part of it? Yes, of course. I like the good bits better. I should know what I'm doing by now! That's the worst of it. I think I should know how to instantly change my mood, snap out of it, put on a good face. Haven't been able to do it.

This path.......isn't it just putting one foot in front of the other? What if I only had to do that? I can take one step. And if I could take the next step with the highest good possible would that be enough? Wow! Eureka! That is all I or anyone can do. The path is under the feet right now. And even though I talk about feet it's an internal path. The path and the step to take is in the ordinary-looking stuff. The next step is just the next step. I only ever need to take one step. How much love can I put into this one step? How can I serve in this next step? The day of course has unfolded wonderfully. For me anyway. At least I can live with myself.

I remember, my teacher, MKI, saying that there are two things required to be free. One is to get on a path that points you back to yourself. And the second thing is to stay on it. That was so helpful because I have found the Bright Path. Not staying on it doesn't even cross my mind anymore. Stubbornness is good in this instance.