Rainy day

It's evening and the storm still rages. This morning we did get out for a short walk to the beach. There was hardly any beach left. The waves were coming in and taking the sand out to sea. I've heard of sheets of rain and that is what it looks like when I look out the window. 100 kilometre high winds.

It was a good day to sort through my mom's stuff. Boxes piled for thrift store, friends, recycling and garbage. It isn't a hard job. I phoned for shipping overseas quotes. This work feels rewarding. We can see it happening. What's hard is that my mom is not having a great day. She feels like she won't ever be well. I don't know how to help. It is amazing how her mood can affect me. Part of me feels I can be in my own mood regardless of hers. But that is not how it's happening. I wish my mood could pick hers up. She seems annoyed when i am perky and happy. I end up being neutral, quiet, a bit closed, and in a protective mode.

I know everything is already okay. Underneath all my apparent angst I know it's all working out perfectly. I surrender. :)