Here I am!

I have missed writing my blog. While in Australia, once I stopped I couldn't get going again. There just seemed too much to do, too many plans, too much to organize, etc, even though there was in actuality more time. It seems my head can only hold so much at a time. And I think I like it that way.

I am back at home, teaching yoga and meditation again, happily. My mom is in her own apartment about a five minute walk away. It has been a really long journey. Her health is pretty good. She is now 83 years old. She walks twice a day at a good clip. She drinks her veggies in a smoothie. And bakes and knits. And is happy. Now this is truly a magical thing!

I've been learning that I only have to do my best. I've heard people say that but just hearing something doesn't make it understandable. I'm getting an understating now. Finally. I could have dropped so much angst earlier if only I could have really known that my best was perfection. I just always thought that my best wasn't good enough because I could see that I could have been or done something more. But that was always in hindsight. Given our circumstances in the moment we do our best. Nothing more. Nothing less. It's always enough because that's the way it is. Okay. Now I also know when I'm not doing my best. I didn't get this part before. I'm not doing my best when I am binge watching the third episode of some show on Netflix and I have the thought "I need to get up now" or "Is this really what I want?" It's when, in the moment, I know it's enough and I keep doing it. Oh, beats me, now that I talk about doing my best I'm getting confused. I think my best right now is to stop talking about it. I don't have to say it any better than this because that's all I've got.  In the moment.

Here I am.