Regret

I was looking through my dad's, my mom's, and my old photo boxes. My mom took lots and lots of photos. She wrote me frequent letters and always some photos of her life in Australia: holding baby crocs; eating fluffy worms on a trip to the bush; eating Christmas dinner in a sundress; trees with enormous flowers; and miles and miles of sandy beach. I never appreciated those letters. I was too busy with something to sit with them. Too preoccupied by my own "special" thoughts.

I'm listening to Ed Sheeran's love songs while I look at these photos and letters. Oh man, tears.
I have been looking at my life and what I would like to do, to see, to be. What would I regret if this was my last day on earth? I would regret not loving enough. I regret that now, today,  but hopefully I have time to live differently. I regret not telling my mom how wonderful her letters were, and what an awesome life she lived, and how she helped me be who I am, regardless of her circumstances, what a good mom she was, how hard she worked, and thanking her for her just being my mom. And I regret all the mean and nasty things I have said and done and not done to people because I didn't see love. I didn't know. I didn't know. And my mind explodes into regret of more and more. But it's all because I was ignorant (as in didn't know) that love was important. That praise and gratitude are what lead to love. I only ever needed to appreciate what was right in front of me. All of it. Appreciation would have lead to thankfulness and it would have led to love, simply because that's the way it is. It's a good thing it still works that way and will always work that way. Believe it or not.

May you love with all your heart!