Inner "editor" turned off.

Last night I was at our weekly meditation meeting and some new folks arrived. I wanted to be a really good group leader and say the right things and still be authentic and professional. I sat for a moment and prepared myself by sinking into presence and stillness.......all prepared to speak from that space. And then the "editor" voice, in my head, disappeared and I started to talk. I said things I wouldn't have said if my "editor" had been operating. I blithered on and started getting confused about what I was saying. Not good. Okay, let's meditate. That always helps. Thank goodness it was a meditation group. One can always fall into meditating :) Well I spent the first bit berating myself for being out of control of myself........geez, can't I just think first?! why do I have to say everything that pops into my mind?! .....alright, I'm hard on myself......yeah, I know,.......but I deserve it.....I should know........then I spent the next bit talking to myself some more.......awwww, I know I can be an ass but I completely love and accept myself.........I know I often say too much and not the "right" thing but I completely love and accept myself. Yes! I completely love and accept myself. And I was free of the voices in my head. The rest of the meditation time was spent in a fairly emptiness dancing kind of space. Today, I know that it's "controlling" myself that often is the problem and that having an editor that is on "off" mode can be really wonderful. What if we all switched our editors off and walked around saying what we really meant. I would then hope that we be in a kind and loving space so that each word comes out with compassion. Since beginning a meditation practice and committing fully to it every day, my inner experience is more loving and joyful. If my inner landscape is that, and the editor is off, then joy and love will flow effortlessly. I can just relax. Joy. Love. Trust. Relaxation. Flowingness. Simplicity. These grow from inside.